Little Moments Create Big Memories

Little Moments Create Big Memories

As a father has compassion for his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. Psalm 103:13

Today is my dad’s birthday. Every year, I ask him a few weeks before October 12^th what gifts he would like. He always gives me a BS answer at first, such as a Porsche, a year’s subscription to Playboy, world peace, or some other ridiculous request. I soon become irritated, and he finally says the same answer he always gives me: “I just want you and everyone to be happy.” Out of all the other bogus answers he gives me before this one, this is the most annoying, because he continues to leave me completely clueless as to what I should buy. He is by far the most difficult person in the world to buy a gift for. He doesn’t golf, fish, or hunt, and I definitely don’t want to give him something from the UGA Bookstore for the third year in a row. During my quest to find something creative and unique to give him, I ultimately decided to give him exactly what he asked for for the first time in my life: making other people happy.

This past week, I have been busy coming up with 51 random acts of kindness that I could do for others to celebrate the 51^st birthday of the person who has always gone out of his way to make sure that my entire family was happy and well-cared for. I kept a journal of everything I did, and I soon realized that these little things that I did for others reminded me of the many things my dad has done for me. Here are some of my favorites:

I left a new koozie and a “good luck on your midterms” note on a table in a MLC study room for a random person to have. Up until I had my own car, my dad was usually the parent who was responsible for dropping me off at school in the mornings on his way to work. As I was opening the door and grabbing my backpack and lunchbox, he would always say, “Have fun and do your best.” Leaving the koozie on the study table with the encouraging note reminded me him telling me this everyday for nearly twelve years. It also reminded me of the many times I’ve called him since I’ve been in college and complained about how stressed out I was. He always reminds me that I can do nothing more than my best, and as long as I gave it my all, I should be proud and reward myself for my hard work.

I taped a bag of spare change to a vending machine. Riding to school wasn’t the only car ride my dad would take me on. Several Saturday and Sunday afternoons were spent riding in his truck with the windows down, listening to a southern rock radio station, and looking out at the dirt roads we were traveling down wondering where on earth we were while sipping on an ice cold Diet Coke. Before we would begin our journey of trekking these infamous Georgia back roads, we would always stop at a corner store and buy a 44 oz fountain drink of my all-time favorite beverage. (I believe this is where my DC addiction started.) I hope that whoever took the change I left spent it on their soft drink that gives them as much happiness as I experience whenever I take a sip of Diet Coke.

I donated canned food items to a local homeless shelter. My dad has always taught my siblings and I that we are extremely fortunate to have all of our needs and many of our wants met. I can still remember going to Wal-Mart when I was a kid with my mom and younger brother and sister. With three young children (who were all born in three years and two months I must add) in the buggy, you can imagine that our loud, whiney, and high-pitched requests and tantrums for toys and junk food were great and vast. Whenever we would return home from what I’m sure my mom would consider a super fun shopping excursion, we were told to retreat to our bedrooms “until your father gets home” so he could talk to us, a.k.a. Mama could regain her sanity. Daddy would call us three kids into the living room, look at us with a disappointing expression, and then remind us how lucky we were to have everything that our parents and God had provided for us. No matter what age we were, he was always able to effectively communicate this to us and leave us humbled and sorry for our bratty behavior. Daddy would often call specifically me out for my disobedience and remind me that I was the oldest and had to set an example for my brother and sister. So for the estimated 50+ times I did not lead by example (although I’m sure my mom would argue there were many more times), I donated over 50 cans to the shelter for people who do not have the luxury of going into a grocery store and buying all the food that they need.

I ironed all my clothes that I plan on wearing this week and next week and found the match to all of my socks. Ok, so this isn’t exactly a random act of kindness, but ANY man, including my dad, will agree that in order for him to be happy, his wife has to be happy. Throughout the arguments and quarrels that my mom and I have gotten into just like any other mother and daughter, my dad has always been the voice of reason when he would constantly remind me that if he or I ever wanted to be happy and peaceful again, I would have to suck it up, tell my mom that I was wrong and she was right regardless of the situation, and smile until even I believed what I was saying. So in order to make my mom happy (at least for this week), I fixed two of the things that I do that get on her last nerves. Mama, there is not a single wrinkle in what I’m wearing, and my socks are the same color, brand, and don’t have any holes. You can sleep peacefully at night now.

I prayed for people who I strongly dislike. I don’t think I could ever hate anyone, but let’s just say that if their house caught on fire and I happened to have a bucket of water sitting next to me, I’d take a second and consider drinking it if I was thirsty (said with a slight hint of sarcasm). Daddy has always taught me to keep my faith first no matter what and to not let other people or things keep you from being a better Christian. He has also consistently reminded me that those who treat others disrespect are often fighting some kind of battle or battles in their own lives that are much bigger than the battle that we are fighting with them. I decided to take a few extra minutes last night to pray for these people and their personal battles that they’re facing.

I recycled my grocery bags. During his first visit to my new apartment this year, my dad was quick to point out his concern that we didn’t have any recycling bins. (In all honesty, I’m not quite sure where we would put them if we decided to get some because we’re already in a cramped space.) My family and I have definitely noticed that he has become extremely environmentally conscious in the past couple of years and will even dig out recyclable items in our kitchen trash and take it to our bins in the garage. Hopefully, he will sleep a little better tonight knowing that I did this.

As I’m writing this blog in my bedroom, I’m looking at one of my favorite pictures of my dad and me hanging above my desk. I’m about two years old – the age when I still believe that I’m going to one day marry my dad or my younger brother, Mama’s kiss had more healing power than any bandaid or medicine, stealing a cookie out of the cookie jar was considered a felony, twenty was considered “old,” and spaghetti was a gourmet meal. I have one of my favorite dresses and bows on, my dad is in his button down shirt and tie about to head to church, and we’re doing what brought me the most happiness growing up: dancing. I soon realized that it’s the little moments such as that one that have meant the most to me. Daddy, thank you for making these “little” moments such a big part of my life… I’ll treasure them forever, and I hope to one day recreate them with my little girl.

King of the World

by Point of Grace

Spinning around on the tops of his feet

Smiles of the angels could not be so sweet

Wide brown eyes and piggy tails swirl

She's her daddy's girl

'Cause he knows the jokes that always make her laugh

And takes her for ice cream instead of her nap

At the end of the day by the light of the moon

They turn up the music in their living room

And she yells,

"Dance me, dance me around

Til my feet don't ever touch ground

There's nothing better than being your girl

And if I am your princess then Daddy,

You are the king of the world."

It's funny how life moves in circles at times

To think not so long ago that face was mine

Houses get smaller, we take different names

But some things in life stay the same

Dance me, dance me around

Til my feet don't ever touch ground

There's nothing better than being your girl

And if I am your princess, then Daddy,

You are the king of the world

Someday she'll go off and find a life of her own

Marry a good man, and make a happy home

Until she comes back and sees with those same eyes

What time cannot disguise

She walks through the door with that look on her face

'Cause Daddy's brown hair has all turned to gray

They talk for hours, they cry and they laugh

Watching old movies and thinking back

And just as she turns to go

She says, "Hey Dad, how 'bout one for the road?"

Dance me, dance me around

Til my feet don't ever touch ground

There's nothing better than being your girl

Oh no there's nothing better than being your girl

And if I am your princess, then Daddy

You are the king of the world...

Click here to listen to Point of Grace's "King of the World"

You're Gonna Miss This

A little advice for the Class of 2012 from an old oh-niner...

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

It’s that time of year again… No, I’m not that annoying single girl moping about wedding season arriving. I’m talking about graduation – high school graduation to be more specific. Oh, the memories of eating at Snooky’s before heading over to Hanner Fieldhouse, trying accomplish the impossible task of looking good in those ugly caps, walking across the stage to shake Marty’s hand, having your mom take a million pictures of you and your closest and friends and that one (maybe two) teacher(s) whose class you actually enjoyed, and then spending that one last night with your entire class – the pretty girl who you secretly hate for no reason, the brainiac who you envy because you know you’ll be working for them one day, the guy who you’ve wanted to marry since freshman year but has only spoken five words to you, and, of course, the small group of friends who will always mean the world to you, no matter where in the world you all end up.

Like I said, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when our focus is on the graduates, but I would like to take this time to focus on the group of people who will be in this same position next year: our rising senior class. The “head honchos.” The “top of the class.” If you’re old enough to buy a lottery ticket, I know where your mind is right now. You can’t help but reminisce about your high school days. You may have been the “hot guy” who could get any girl you wanted in your small town, the “smart kid” who needed a UHAUL to help you carry all of your awards home from honors night, or just the “girl next door” who didn’t mind just blending in as you dreamt about leaving this small town behind as soon as you threw your cap into the air. And if you’re like me as you’re bringing back all those old memories, you’ve already started running to your closet to dig out your old cheerleading uniform to see how much damage Papa John’s has done to your body from those 2am deliveries from all that late-night “studying.”

Alright. I know I’m starting to sound like my parents and their “I remember when I was your age…” stories. I’ll stop and start focusing on the people who are about to make those memories so they too will one day be able to tell those same stories: the Class of 2012. Let me begin by saying that I envy every single one of you, especially the ones at Statesboro High. From the Friday night football games at Womack Field to the daily races to Sonic immediately after the final bell rings. It may all seem like the same boring routine to you now, but these experiences will one day be your fondest memories of your youth. (Yes, youth – embrace the fact that you’re still in it.)

You’re going to be receiving a lot of presents this upcoming year (girls – I hope you’re a fan of monogramming!), but you’re also going to be receiving a ton of advice. So while you’re not yet tired of listening to all of the advice that your elders will give you before you begin your young adult years, I’m going to give you some advice for your senior year – and please, please take it!

Not only are you all about to begin one of the most exciting and fun years of your life, but it’s also a year filled with big decisions, most importantly, the one that you’re going to have to tell everyone about a million times because they’ll ask you the same question a million times: “Where are you going to college?” This is what I stressed about the majority of my senior year. I worked extremely hard all through high school so I could get into any college I wanted to go to. The only problem was, I had no clue where I was supposed to go. I went back and forth between three different schools, and I even made a Facebook page where my friends could vote on where I should go. (Yes, I was that desperate.) This is exactly what you shouldn’t do your senior year. Visit all the schools you’re interested in, but let the answer come to you. I finally made my decision on what school I was going to the week that my commitment deposit* was due. I made that decision based mostly on what my parents and my teachers said I should choose. Don’t do this either. The day that the commitment deposit had to be postmarked, I changed my mind. As I was sitting in my AP Psychology class, a friend of mine who sat in front of me turned around, told me to go to UGA just as he did everyday at that same time after lunch, and I said, “Ok.” For one reason or another, the decision felt right. I quickly texted my mom, told her not to send in the commitment deposit to the other school, and sent my parents in a frenzy once again about where I would be spending my next four years. Thankfully, I made the right decision. (*Commitment deposit: the first and only check that your parents will write with excitement as a means of telling the college of your choice that they will gladly send you there for the next four years.)

Other than the last piece of advice I’ll give to you, this is the most crucial: EAT!!! Something happens to your metabolism in college… It disappears. Never again will you be able to eat a Chik-fil-A biscuit for breakfast, a personal pan pizza for lunch, Sonic mozzarella sticks for your afternoon snack, and El Som for dinner without gaining a single ounce. Never. Ever. Again. Ever. I’m serious. If your friends call you up one night and ask you to meet them for ice cream even though you’re not hungry because you just made three rounds at your church’s potluck dinner, go anyways and EAT something. I tried to start training myself to eat super healthy my senior year of high school so I would automatically eat healthy foods in college. And I still gained five pounds my freshman year. And I worked out nearly every day my first year of college. Once again – EAT!

If you’re a nerd like I was, then you’re probably planning on taking a bunch of classes at Southern. Wow. You’re so cool. News fuh-lash: you’re not. Once the other students in Professor “I-can’t-pronounce-his-Chinese-name’s” class find out you’re in high school because Professor “I-can’t-pronounce-his-Chinese-name” says, “Oh – you – you’re the joint-enrolled high school student! Let me know if you need any extra help!” in front of everyone, they’re going to stop flirting with you and inviting you to the frat parties and nightly shenanigans at Rum’s. This is when you need to embrace your seniority down the halls of SHS as much as possible by working on all those “final AP group projects” (a.k.a. the most stupid videos ever that somehow relate to what you learned in class), getting on the local news by acting ridiculous at all of the football games on the front row of the infamous SHS student section, and jumping to the front of the lunch line on Wednesdays for “Chicken Day.” Your college days will come, I promise. You’ll meet a bunch of cool new people who will tell you that they’re super rich, have traveled all over the world, were the smartest, coolest, most athletic people in high school, have met Lil Wayne at an airport, and are somehow related to Tom Cruise. You’ll never have that same group of people who you can call up on any given Friday or Saturday night to go grab a bite to eat with at El Som, sit on the tailgates of all your friends’ trucks with at that big field party, or get kicked out of the movie theater with for being rowdy and obnoxious. Most college kids think that they’re the coolest people ever, so while you’re still in high school, act stupid simply because it’s still acceptable.

I know I’ve been talking about spending your weekends filled with fun and friends, but every so often, stay home. You heard me correctly. Stay. Home. As in stay home with your parents. Don’t go to El Som. Eat your mama’s delicious dinner, because when you somehow ruin your first bowl of Ramen your freshman year and you’re crying because you don’t even have the money to go buy another pack of it, you’re going to wish that you had eaten your mom’s dinner. And while you’re sitting there eating dinner with your family, listen and laugh to your daddy’s corny jokes that he’s told you a million times. Eighteen months from now as you’re trying desperately not to cry in the middle of the library at 2am while trying to study for your first big college final that will begin in six hours, hearing your dad’s voice telling you that stupid joke in your head will help you to crack a smile and get an ounce of relaxation for a moment to allow you to recuperate and not embarrass yourself in front of all of your peers who are probably feeling the same way. And a special piece of advice to all the girls: spend a little extra time with your daddy. You’ll meet so many guys in college who, once again, are “super rich, have traveled all over the world, were the smartest, coolest, most athletic people in high school, have met Lil Wayne at an airport, and are somehow related to Tom Cruise,” but none of them will compare to the one at your dinner table with all the bad jokes. He’ll be the only man who will tell you you’re the most beautiful person in the world simply because he believes you are (instead of expecting something in return) until one particular young man will come along who will do the same. Believe me, you’ll never think more highly of your dad until you experience your first frat party.

Last and most important piece of advice: PRAY. I couldn’t do my splits or toe touches like I used to after my last semester in high school because I hadn’t done them in so long. This almost became a metaphor for my prayer life as well. Don’t put God on the back burner. If you keep your relationship with God strong now, it will help it to remain strong which is oftentimes difficult to do in college. He has brought you to one of the best times in your life, but He’s also brought you to one of the most challenging. Thank Him for the blessings, and ask Him to guide you through the hardships. I know that I could not have survived my first two years of college without Him, and I know that you won’t either. Trust me on this one. ;)

So instead of going to Hanner this weekend to watch your senior friends walk across that stage with envy, walk in embracing the fact that you have one more year to live it up. You also have one more year where you can actually make a good grade on a test just by studying really hard for it. (Sometimes that works in college, sometimes it doesn’t – college is HARD.) Go to all the football games, get something to drink at Sonic everyday after school, and enjoy the last year of stress-free existence. (If you think you’re stressed at all now, ha, you’re not.) But most of all, have fun and make memories that you will enjoy talking about to anyone and everyone who will lesson to your “I remember when I was your age…” stories.

P.S. Before you graduate, give your favorite teacher(s) a big hug and thank them for being so wonderful. You think your teachers don’t care about you now? Ha – just wait til college… And those kids who were mean to you throughout all your middle and high school years? The mean girl will end up fat with an STD or 2, and the guy will still be ridiculously hot but he still won't have a brain which will force him to drop out of college... Or you'll never have to hear from them again and you can just assume these things like me. :)

You're Gonna Miss This

by Trace Adkins

She was staring out that window, of that SUV
Complaining, saying I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money, and I'll make my own rules
Mamma put the car in park out there in front of the school
Then she kissed her head and said I was just like you

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In a one-bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by
He tells her It's a nice place
She says It'll do for now
Starts talking about babies and buying a house
Daddy shakes his head and says Baby just slow down

'Cause You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plumber workin' on the water heater
Dog's barkin', phone's ringin'
One kid's cryin', one kid's screamin'
She keeps apologizin'
He says they don't bother me
I've got 2 babies of my own
One's 36, one's 23
Huh, it's hard to believe

But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

Listen to Trace Adkins' "You're Gonna Miss This"

Love... Nothing is Greater Than This

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ...

-Corinthians 13:4-8

Love never fails. As my parents’ twenty-fifth wedding anniversary arrives, I have been thinking a lot about my own love life – or let’s be honest: lack thereof. I have also been thinking a lot about love itself: what it really is in the romantic sense, if it’s meant for everyone (including me), and how to know if you really have it when it’s there. Ever since I returned home for the summer a week before their big anniversary, I’ve been trying to figure out the answers to these questions as I look at my Mama and Daddy and how they interact with each other. As I continue to look at them, however, I notice that any outsider would probably never guess that their twenty-fifth is coming up next week. They are entirely too focused on my brother, sister, and me to be talking about any big plans. I then reminded myself that they have always taken more pride in what they consider their greatest accomplishment – the family that they created – than in themselves.

Love is the arms that are holding you. Because of their love for each other, my life has been filled with unending happiness. It’s not the kind of happiness that you’re simply reminded of when you return to a specific place or look at an old picture. It’s the kind that you can still feel just by closing your eyes and reminiscing on that particular moment, like seeing my Mama and Daddy stand up and cheer for me at all of my dance recitals and cheerleading competitions, listening to both of them tell me how proud they were of me when I graduated from high school, and having them both hold me in their arms as they hugged me goodbye after moving me into my dorm.

Love does not run. Love does not hide. I know that my parents would continue to do those same things for me even if they were no longer together, but having both of them cheer me on together as a team always puts a bigger smile on my face and further encourages me to keep doing my best. That’s why I will forever admire the vows that they have kept to stick together as that same team that they formed nearly three decades ago. Just like any other “team,” they have stuck together through thick and thin. Through every obstacle that my siblings and I have thrown at them and every challenge that they have faced outside together outside of our home, they have conquered it all. All of my favorite sports teams have lost games and have acted like less than a team at some point, but my parents have always acted as one. My high school football coach once described a true team as having “one heartbeat,” and that is exactly what my parents have.

Love is the place you will fly to. I recently had one of my close friends’ grandparents pass away. Next month would have been his and his wife’s sixtieth wedding anniversary. When I told my parents this, Mama said that his wife probably won’t live much longer, because when you’re together that long, it is nearly impossible to live without your significant other. As I was listening to Mama tell me this in my parents’ bedroom, a quote by Winnie the Pooh popped into my head that goes, “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live a day without you.” While there are a few people in this world who I couldn’t imagine living my life without, I would never dream of wanting my life to end simply so I could be with that other person. But this was when I got a much deeper sense of what true love really is: wanting to be with that person you love, no matter where that may be, and not only having that person on one side, but having the One who created your love on the other.

Love after all matters the most. Twenty-five years ago today in 1986, two people began what has become the most important thing in my life: my family. Mama and Daddy: your faith, your commitment, and, most importantly, your love to God, to one another, and to our family encourages me everyday to be a better Christian, daughter, sister, friend, and person. You have shown me what true love is and how to show it to those who I care the most about. I know you will continue to bother me about meeting guys and finding someone to date, but I am only putting that off because I have such high standards for a relationship… Standards set by you.

Love Never Fails

by Brandon Heath

Love is not proud

Love does not boast

Love after all

Matters the most

Love does not run

Love does not hide

Love does not keep

Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through

Love never fails you

Love will sustain

Love will provide

Love will not cease

At the end of time

Love will protect

Love always hopes

Love still believes

When you don’t

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love never fails you

When my heart won’t make a sound

When I can’t turn back around

When the sky is falling down

Nothing is greater than this

Greater than this

Love is right here

Love is alive

Love is the way

The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love is the place you will fly to

Love never fails you

Listen to "Love Never Fails" by Brandon Heath